So today I was listening to Serj Tankian’s new album
“Harakiri”. “Within our dreams we wake
up to kiss the ones who were born to die.” The song and in deed this about how
humanity is washing away in the drains as result of human stupidity and
materialistic greed. The album was of course downloaded from torrents. Being a
fresh graduate means that I have joined the rest of the population of the
unemployed youth, full of ideas but trapped in this shit hole of a place called
Nairobi. As if things couldn’t get any worse the electricity is cut off as if
to remind me of the KPLC competence levels.
My laptop battery so old and will only last me five minutes before it goes off, I can’t replace the battery and my dad is the stingy type who will never replace it. I will have to postpone listening to this album. As I listened to the album my mind kept racing about humanity and life in general. What really is the cause of our problems? Is it human greed or is it plain old stupidity from us the citizens? I mean we have let a group of incompetent old hags (politicians) to dictate how this country should be run. We have given them the power to burn this country to the ground without the slightest protest or fight. I hear everyone complaining about the economic situation in Kenya, about how politicians have screwed them over. My question is always this, if everyone is complaining then who the fuck put them there in the first place. Like a majority of the youth I have never voted, I wonder what position that puts me, if we all vote then we can definitely tilt the scales towards the leader we would like to see in office. Like the rest I am disillusioned, I don’t think my vote can make any difference, so we keep waiting for the world to change, but who the fuck is gonna change this place?
My ideos finally runs out of battery and I pick up my nokia phone and get hooked back to the social world. I have more friends on Facebook than I do in real life of course. Can I call them friends? Acquaintances perhaps, I have forged true bonds with some of the people I met online though. We love the virtual world because of the anonymity it creates for us. On the virtual world we don’t have to hide who we are, we don’t even have to be who we are; we can create personas and facades behind which we can hide behind. The online world allows us to pour vile and to be rude to people and in deed brings out our dark side sometimes. We don’t have to look into the faces of the faceless online members; we don’t have to see the consequences of what our words might cause, the sadness we might inflict in others, the tears and how disheartening our words can be to those strangers. On the internet it’s easy to forget or pretend that the people we are communicating with are also people like us, with ambitions, emotions and feelings. Does the virtual world change us or does it bring out our real selves? Hmmm
My laptop battery so old and will only last me five minutes before it goes off, I can’t replace the battery and my dad is the stingy type who will never replace it. I will have to postpone listening to this album. As I listened to the album my mind kept racing about humanity and life in general. What really is the cause of our problems? Is it human greed or is it plain old stupidity from us the citizens? I mean we have let a group of incompetent old hags (politicians) to dictate how this country should be run. We have given them the power to burn this country to the ground without the slightest protest or fight. I hear everyone complaining about the economic situation in Kenya, about how politicians have screwed them over. My question is always this, if everyone is complaining then who the fuck put them there in the first place. Like a majority of the youth I have never voted, I wonder what position that puts me, if we all vote then we can definitely tilt the scales towards the leader we would like to see in office. Like the rest I am disillusioned, I don’t think my vote can make any difference, so we keep waiting for the world to change, but who the fuck is gonna change this place?
My ideos finally runs out of battery and I pick up my nokia phone and get hooked back to the social world. I have more friends on Facebook than I do in real life of course. Can I call them friends? Acquaintances perhaps, I have forged true bonds with some of the people I met online though. We love the virtual world because of the anonymity it creates for us. On the virtual world we don’t have to hide who we are, we don’t even have to be who we are; we can create personas and facades behind which we can hide behind. The online world allows us to pour vile and to be rude to people and in deed brings out our dark side sometimes. We don’t have to look into the faces of the faceless online members; we don’t have to see the consequences of what our words might cause, the sadness we might inflict in others, the tears and how disheartening our words can be to those strangers. On the internet it’s easy to forget or pretend that the people we are communicating with are also people like us, with ambitions, emotions and feelings. Does the virtual world change us or does it bring out our real selves? Hmmm
The nokia too finally gives way, I hate being alone
with my thoughts sometimes. They usually get too loud sometimes, sometimes they
go on auto pilot and I find myself running conversations in my head, with questions
and answers to them as if there was someone else in my head. I am not sure if
this happens to everyone or whether I should see a shrink. It’s hard to stay
without electricity especially since I seem to be addicted to my facebook…ah
the virtual world. The real world is dull sometimes and downright ugly in some
cases, the virtual world on the other hand is much more ordered, you can filter
what you want to see and everything is perfectly represented by words and
numbers. Perhaps this is the reason this world seems so appealing to us. I have
always thought about death, don’t get me wrong, I am not suicidal…not at the
moment anyways. I don’t believe in god, I think the misery present in this
world makes a confident case against the god hypothesis. I am willing entertain
the idea of a malevolent god but of what use is such a god? He doesn’t deserve
any respect from me. As an atheist only this life matters, with this
realization people claim to get a sense of how precious life is and to live it
to the fullest. A Christian friend once asked me why I didn’t just kill myself;
we are going to die in the end after all, right? While I brushed this off as
silly, I kept wondering whether there really was a point of life. We struggle,
we smile, get our heart broken several times, cry in joy but sometimes in pain
and deep suffering…then we die. At that moment when you die, all the memories
fade away, all your thoughts, all the relationships you ever forged will
disappear, just like that. How can we justify having lived all that time when
the grave is all we have to show for what we did in life. I now understand why
the prospect of the afterlife is so enticing for most people. If we get to be
reborn when we die then all this wasn’t for nothing. We will still have our
thoughts and memories about those we loved, the good times we had in this life.
The atheist however cannot objectively support the importance of his/her life
without falling on axiom that life is important because it’s important.
Philosophers would call this circular reaoning.
Why do people commit suicide? I think it takes great balls to end one’s life. I hope that I will never be forced to make such a decision. I can’t imagine the courage it takes one to plunge into the depths of the unknown. At the end of the day my guess about what happens when we die is as good as the next guy’s that alone create so much anxiety and fear about dying for people. I can understand why someone would want to do it, I have a bit of a depressive personality myself so I have experienced trips where I want to escape from my own head, I guess it can get too much to bear that someone would do anything just to make it stop, to numb the pain that can be unbearable. Life can ironically kill you in the end, making death appear like an angel coming to your rescue, shutting down your system, shutting down the voices, the hurt, the pain, the disillusionment, the heartache, some use drugs, others escape into music (guilty), writing, reading, poetry, art you name it, the suicidal individual however knows that this is just buying time. Eventually a solution needs to be found, temporal or permanent.
The electricity is finally back on, time to plug in back to the system, time to keep this mind occupied once more lest it strays too much into the darkness.
Why do people commit suicide? I think it takes great balls to end one’s life. I hope that I will never be forced to make such a decision. I can’t imagine the courage it takes one to plunge into the depths of the unknown. At the end of the day my guess about what happens when we die is as good as the next guy’s that alone create so much anxiety and fear about dying for people. I can understand why someone would want to do it, I have a bit of a depressive personality myself so I have experienced trips where I want to escape from my own head, I guess it can get too much to bear that someone would do anything just to make it stop, to numb the pain that can be unbearable. Life can ironically kill you in the end, making death appear like an angel coming to your rescue, shutting down your system, shutting down the voices, the hurt, the pain, the disillusionment, the heartache, some use drugs, others escape into music (guilty), writing, reading, poetry, art you name it, the suicidal individual however knows that this is just buying time. Eventually a solution needs to be found, temporal or permanent.
The electricity is finally back on, time to plug in back to the system, time to keep this mind occupied once more lest it strays too much into the darkness.
